strum

you're my song.

it's been so long.
i never had a chance to play this for you.
cos everytime the music starts,
i always cannot go with the tune.
and then you went away,
now the lyrics seem to stray.
so ~~how~~ can i not love you?
when i live just for you.
you took away the heart in me,
that once beat in harmony.
now, i am torn apart,
feeling unemotional somehow.
sometimes, i can't help but cry.
i miss the way we used to be.
and the sad part,
the song i made,
is just a music that will fade.

but everythingmeans nothing.

Sunday, July 16, 2006
Back frm KL

Got back KL this afternoon, the talk yesterday was great! Learnt more things from the talk. Went to stay overnight at my mom's friend house. They brought us to their nearby shopping centre and it was still under renovation. Not all the shops are open.
Morning went to take breakfast nearby and I ate 2 roti prata and a cup of milk tea. The prata is nicer then the one selling at my house there. After that went to take malaysia mrt, which they called it LRT.
Next time I think I would dare take bus frm my grandmother place to KL and take the LRT to KL's chinatown. To Plaza Rakyat station from Titiwangsa station. Bad thing was I dont speak malay nor understand malay.
Went to have a hair cut just now, trim my hair... now my fringe is slant one... haha... the cost is only RM7. Later going for my massage.
Just now cried when after reading my brother's email to my mom. Strong feeling that I will be living with my mother in near future. So I think you guys can roughly know what I meant right. Since all of you so smart.
I really do not want to live in fear, now a days when I think of what will happen when I am back home, it just frightens me. I dare not think abt it.
Time may be tough for me and my mom but both of us believe that we can make it through. Is just that we only need time. My family just dont understand us, my mom kept telling me that what I am experiencing is exactly the same thing she had experienced before. I am the maid of the house and even maid get paid, but I dont. No work, but still paying for marketing things. I dont know how you all think, maybe you all think I thinking wrongly. But the thing is we see things differently. This year is not a very good year for me. Everything is going haywire... I am sandwiched in between my parents and now is my family. My mom said I am ignorant. Which I shldn't be involved in between my parents.
Even my therapist told me not to get involved in my parents matter as only they themselves adult can solve the problem. I can't help them.
*ARH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I feel like running away, but I know I can't run away frm my problem. I need to face it.
gtg.. ciao~~~ *trying to smile.... cheese... = ) *

Fang Fang :+: Love On :+: 6:22:00 pm

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